What can we do about bullying, harassment, discrimination and violence?
Students
Q. What do I do if someone bullies me?
A. The best strategy will depend on the situation, but it needs to be something that will help to make the situation better in the long term. Unfortunately, 'getting back' at someone or 'ganging up' tends to make the situation worse, not better.
A quick response is to clearly say, 'Stop it. I don't like it.' Then talk to a teacher.
Q. Should I just put up with it?
A. No! Bullying or harassment is never OK. Everyone has a right to feel safe, confident and respected. This includes being able to talk openly about the problem, to feel believed and listened to and to have trust in how parents and teachers will handle the situation.
Q. Won't it get worse if I talk to someone in authority?
A. Unless you do something about it, it may never go away. We need to work together to stop bullying, harassment and violence happening. Often it seems that it can't get any worse, so it's better to do something to improve the situation. When teachers use a problem-solving or shared concern approach, the situation nearly always improves.
Q. I keep telling the teacher but she says just to ignore them.
A. If you feel threatened, then tell another adult – the principal or your carer. Don't stop speaking up about it until something is done and you feel safe.
Q. What happens when you have already asked for help and nothing changes?
A. Keep asking for help! Don't stop asking. Ask different people who might be in a position to help. Read the school's policy to find out whose job this is. This could be your teacher, your form teacher, the year level coordinator, the bullying referral officer, the harassment referral officer, the counsellor or guidance officer or the deputy principal. These people are trained and experienced to help you sort out the problem or they will know who to ask for help.
Q. If someone started calling you silly names, what would you do?
A. Name calling is sometimes silly and can hurt your feelings. If you don't feel OK about it tell the person who is doing the name calling. A quick response is to clearly say, 'Stop it. I don't like it.' If it continues, tell the teacher on duty or your own class teacher.
Q. When I was bullied, my teacher gave me a chance to tell the girl how I felt. She apologised and it seemed genuine. Everything was all right for a term. But now she has started it up again and has got her friends to join in too. They bully me only at break times.
A. Bullying and harassment often happen when adults are not around, and it can take a while to stop. Tell your parents and teachers again. You have a right to be safe at school and to have the bullying stopped. Your parents and teachers need to know so that they can help.
Q. My parents told me that if someone bullies me I should hit them hard.
A. If you hit back at school, the bullying can increase and things can become worse for you. Hitting back is not teaching that there are better ways to solve problems and handle feelings.
Q. Does conflict resolution work?
A. Generally conflict resolution approaches work pretty well in schools that teach and help students use these strategies. There are times, though, when it doesn't work because people haven't wanted it to work, or because the problem is very serious or there is a big imbalance of power. Peer mediation is one method that's most useful for older students. It needs cooperation, which is one of the ground rules. If the people involved don't want to cooperate, and they don't want a fair solution, you need to ask an adult for help.
Q. These boys are always teasing me and threatening to beat me up if I tell
anyone. I'm really scared of them. What can I do?
A. Talk to a teacher, the school counsellor, a member of the peer support team or your parents. No one can help you if they don't know what is going on. Until the situation changes, try to stay in a group and not be by yourself.
Q. These boys keep calling me a poofter and gay. What do you suggest?
A. This is harassment and homophobic behaviour. This type of behaviour should be reported to the school harassment officer or counsellor so that it won't happen to other students. If you can, lobby for better understanding of difference at school so that everyone is allowed to be themselves.
Q. What can I do when the senior students take my ball and won't give it back?
A. Don't try to wrestle it back from them, and don't make any tough demands. Tell them it is your ball and you want it back. If that doesn't work, see your teacher or the duty teacher and ask them to help.
Q. A student has been hassling me at school. The father came up to me and
my family in the shops and swore at my mum and threatened to get us if I told.
What can we do?
A. It is not OK for others to swear at you and threaten you. Your family can report the incident to police. If the threats are serious, you can apply to the court to restrict the father having anything to do with your family.
Because the incident is related to what's been happening at school, tell the school so they can also help to stop the hassling.
Q. An older boy and his gang of mates threaten me to stay away from what they
call their special place. Then they start following me and if I look back
at them, they punch me for looking at them. What can I do about this?
A. Everyone has the right to feel safe at school.
If there is no reason why you can't be in this area, then you can tell the
students that you are allowed to be there. You can also tell your class teacher
or another staff member. When you go home you can talk about what has happened
with your parents.
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